The Proust Questionnaire

     I really enjoy Louis C.K. I remember many nights in Paris where I'd be hanging out in my foyer's kitchen until 2 AM (with the mice shooting out from under the refrigerators from time to time) listening to his comedy albums while eating peanut butter toast and having a splendid time being American. It made hard days of not being understood in French or being late to my internship take a back seat while I basked in the offensive, dirty comfort of Louis C.K. Because sometimes saying "Merde!" just doesn't hold a candle to... well, you know.

     I'd heard of the Proust Questionnaire before (A series of questions that French author Marcel Proust answered at 13 and 20 and is now frequently used as a personality questionnaire), but once I saw on Twitter that Louis had taken it for Vanity Fair, I got more interested. His answers are pretty funny, as to be expected, so I decided to take a stab at it myself and I'll hopefully remember to do it again next year.

Happiness in a glass next to Saint-Sulpice at Café de la Mairie

My heroes, Mom and Dad

I'm never tired of reading Fitzgerald

THE PROUST QUESTIONNAIRE

What is your idea of perfect happiness? I think it's three things: 1. A great cup of coffee or glass of wine while reading a book you can't put down. 2. Waking up to no plans in another city or country. 3. Music-- playing the piano, seeing a great show, singing in the car or listening to old records.

What is your greatest fear? Spiders. Also, the scene where the T-rex attacks the Jeep in Jurassic Park. I'm always very aware of my surroundings when it's raining. You never know.

Which living person do you most admire? Multitaskers.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? I wish I could be more in the present. I'm always thinking about the past or the future.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Probably self-restraint/self-control. Boring.

What do you dislike most about your appearance? Well, it's not fun being laughed at when you ask a Parisian shoe shop employee for a 42 and she makes a face at you. So probably my feet.

When and where were you happiest? I had the best childhood. And anytime I've had the day off to have a glass of wine at a sidewalk café in Paris.

Which talent would you most like to have? I wish I could've kept my math skills from high school calculus. I have to use a calculator for everything now.

What is your current state of mind? I’m always thinking about the next step.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I wish I were more instinctive, did things on the fly and didn't care.

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be? I wish we spent more time together.

What do you consider your greatest achievement? I'm pretty proud that I made myself go live in France and that I'm doing it again.

If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be? Definitely a cat. Or maybe a man. Wouldn't it be interesting to know what it's like to be part of the other half of humanity?

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? Coming home from Paris. Being pulled away from all that was completely miserable. #firstworldproblems

What do you most value in your friends? Being real, unpretentious and funny. There needs to be a balance between great conversation and great laughs.

Who are your favorite writers? F. Scott Fitgerald, Oscar Wilde, Jane Austen and W. Somerset Maugham.

Who is your favorite hero(ine) of fiction? Elizabeth Bennet. Thank goodness for an actual smart female character who doesn't take people's shit.

Who are your heroes in real life? My parents. I don't think they'll ever know how much I admire what they've done in their lives.

What is it that you most dislike? Inconsiderate people.

How would you like to die? In old age, in bed. Anything else seems unpleasant.

What is your motto? Lately I've been liking this quote by Katharine Hepburn: "If you always do what interests you, at least one person is pleased." You need to make your own happiness.